Is technology hindering our face-to-face ability to communicate? Although the ability to text and e-mail is terribly convenient in a world where time is so vital, is it allowing people to avoid conflict? Although these technological mediums are important, we need to remember how important it is to use face-to-face contact. It is important to have this face-to-face to reduce ambiguity and clearly be able to work through situations that inevitably will arise.

As the younger “texting” generation becomes more integrated into the work place, a greater need to focus on face-to-face communication will become vital. The ability to negotiate problems and handle situations up front and strategically will be critical for the success of your business.

To Read full article: http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/28/do-you-feel-awkward-talking-to-your-friends-in-person/

The Paired Comparison Method
Simply put, all issues are listed (six to ten issues seem to work best) and then are presented in pairs to all the other parties; for each pair the person selects the idea or solution that best satisfies the specified criterion.  The theory of this method is that each item in the list is compared to every other item in pairs, thus the name, Pair Comparison Analysis.  Item A is compared to item B, then to item C, to D, and so on.  This forces a choice between two options; i.e. strongly prefers A to B but only slightly prefers A to C.  The following is an example as to how it might be used in my case:

The controversy is over a significant number of dishes stored in the Church kitchen.  The dishes are seldom, if ever used.  The exception is the use of cups for a yearly tea party. The chair of that committee is so adamant the cups are not to be used any other time of year.  Another committee chair will not allow the dishes to be used at all as it causes too much work cleaning up.  Another committee chair states that the dishes should be sold and the storage used for other items.  Each person places his/her choice in the white boxes.  One person might feel selling is the best option and other storage is better.

After everyone has considered the items, the facilitator or leader compares the results and logs them on the Paired Comparison Analysis Tool.

The Results
While the information is subjective, the comparison gives the group four pieces of information: each person’s score, the score of the group, team ranking of the items, and the degree of consensus.  The degree of consensus is important to understanding the deeper issues.  If the degree is too high, your team may be too close to the problem and have already convinced themselves of the issues (group think mentality).  If the degree is low or shows polarity, more investigation and discussion is needed.  By uncovering the hidden issues, the group can better address the needs of its members, address and then move beyond the conflict.

If your team is having issues that are restraining or even halting progress on your team’s mission, give this tool a try.

So how can conflict be resolved so that teams or organizations are productive and successful?  How can a win-win situation be created?  The key is shifting the focus from defeating each other to defeating the challenge in such a way that everyone benefits, and in order for everyone to win.   A relationship of trust must be developed.

How to create a win-win situation when dealing with conflict:

1. If conflict exists, acknowledge it.
Although this step can be difficult, acknowledging the conflict will inspire a sense of relief.  When individuals share a commitment to work jointly towards agreed-upon solutions, they will become partners in the process.

2. Find common ground between the parties involved.
View conflict from the perspective of the organization’s goals.  What is the vision that unifies individuals despite their differences?  If everyone is committed to the organization’s goals and can find common ground, they should be willing to address any issue that threatens their attainment of those goals.

3. Understand all sides of the issue.
Gaining understanding does not mean gaining agreement.  One person does not need to agree with a different point of view to understand another’s perspective.  The purpose of this step is to gain the information you need to be able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, try to comprehend and understand their points of view.

4. Attack the issue, not each other.
When individuals are attacked, rather than attacking the issue at hand, everybody loses.  Learning how to confront the issues will create an environment conducive to dialogue and conflict resolution and will result in teams that function at a higher level.  The goal is to reach a collaborative solution that allows each party involved in the conflict to achieve individual and team goals without violating any personal values.

5. Develop an action plan.
The final step in this process is to outline what each party is responsible for and how they will meet those obligations.  This action plan should be formulated in writing so that each party is able to be accountable for their parts of the plan.

How would this process look if we were to play it out in a team meeting?

Team members involved in the meeting will need to make a list of the current challenges or conflicts that exist within your organization – these should be issues that, if overcome, would improve the overall performance of the organization.

Once that list has been created, you will need to prioritize the conflicts, which are the highest priority, and which are lower on the scale.  After you have established your priorities, ask yourselves the following questions:

1. Who are the parties involved?  (acknowledge the conflict)
2. Where is the common ground?  (gain points of agreement common ground)
3. What is each party’s view point?  (seek to understand all sides of the issue)
4. What are the potential solutions that would benefit everyone involved?  (attack the challenge, not the people)
5. What must we do to accomplish our goals?  (Develop a specific, time bound action plan.)

Remember, conflict can be beneficial.  Seek to embrace conflict in a positive way and you’ll be creating win-win partnerships that benefit everyone.

Yesterday, while watching the daily news, I saw a commercial that caught my attention.  In order to win over new customers, this organization is using a strategy that I like very much.  Their approach is creative, it’s innovative, and was sure their competitors would need to respond to this advertising campaign in some form or fashion to maintain market share.

However, after seeing this advertisement a second time, I came to the realization that this “new” approach is classic conflict avoidance.  Take a look at this video clip.  Can you see where I’m coming from? 

Now, please correct me if I’m totally off base, (I’ll be confident and say I’m not), but don’t the fundamentals of business acumen tell us that competition is good?  In a situation like this we should want to create a little constructive conflict, forcing these two companies to battle over our business.  If we ask Allstate to “break up” with our existing insurance provider for us because we’re too uncomfortable to handle the situation ourselves, we’ll never know whether the current insurance provider would be able to match the offer, or offer a better deal, ultimately saving use the hassle of switching insurance providers.  Come on people. Buck up!  Step out of your comfort zone and grow a little!  Given this type of situation, the customer has all the power.  If you add a little conflict to the mix, these two companies will need to compete for your business, “sweetening the deal,” and offering you greater gains.   One company claims that it can “save you serious cash,” but the other company wants to retain business and compete for your business.  Keeping a customer is much easier than winning a new one.   Two companies knowingly vying for our business puts us in a great position, but if your existing insurance company gets a call from Allstate, “saving you that uncomfortable break-up moment,” your opportunity for beneficial conflict has been lost, and so has your power as a consumer. 

Confront conflict head on; avoidance never hurt anybody but you.

So how does one operate on a conflicted team?  We still need to be able to create a win-win solution for the team and the organization.   How do we use conflict to our advantage?

1. Acknowledge Conflict
Acknowledging conflict can be uncomfortable, yet once the conflict is recognized and discussed the team will feel a sense of relief.   People tend to be more effective when they can agree to work together and find mutually satisfactory solutions to common problems.

2. Gain Common Ground
Is there common ground between the parties involved in the conflict?  Put the conflict in perspective based on the team’s goals.  If everyone is committed to a common purpose, they should be willing to address any issue that may affect the team’s final outcome.

3. Understand Each Point of View
Gaining an understanding of difference perspectives does not necessarily mean gaining agreement on all sides.  Here we must take the time both to understand and be understood as we gain information from all sides.

4. Attack the Issue(s), Not Each Other
Bickering or fighting with someone on the team is an unwanted stress, yet the issue needs to be addressed in order for the team to maximize its potential.  The goal is to reach a solution that allows everyone to achieve individual/team goals without violating anyone’s values.

5. Develop an Action Plan
a. The team will outline specific steps that each person on the team will take in order to reach the team’s goal.  Each person will be accountable for his/her role in the action plan, and the plan will be written on paper so that each person is aware of his/her responsibilities to the team.

As team members utilizes this five-step process to address issues and conflicts, they will see more win-win situations and the team will increase their levels of productivity.

To be part of a high performing team, it is important to constantly evaluate processes to determine if they are working, effective, and worthwhile.  Effective processes help us to be efficient, reliable for our customers (internal and external), and minimizes the likelihood of a problem occurring.

In 2003, a US Air Force Thunderbirds F-16 crashed at an air show in Idaho.  The pilot ejected from his aircraft and aside from the crashed fighter jet, there was no other damage.  As unfortunate as this story is, I think it is an excellent example of taking the opportunity to improve processes.  Take a look at the video from both inside and outside the cock pit.

After investigating the crash, it was determined that the pilot had incorrectly calculated his altitude as if he were at Nellis Air Force Base (where the Thunderbirds are stationed).  The investigation board looking into the crash determined that “other factors” such as the pilots need to calculate MSL (Mean Sea Level) altitude to the AGL (Above Ground Level) altitude contributed to the errors resulting in the crash.

As a result of the pilots error and “other factors,” the Air Force determined that the processes around the calculation of altitude and “Split S” exercise needed to be fixed.  And fix they did.  Thunderbird pilots must now call out the MSL altitude at air shows.  When they execute the Split S maneuver, they must climb an additional 1,000 feet to prevent and minimize the danger of altitude miscalculation from occurring again.

While the pilot only suffered minor injuries and a $20 million aircraft was lost, an improvement in a process was gained.  While we may never know the future value or full impact in improving processes, it helps take a high performing team to the next level.   Call it Continuous Process Improvement.

Suggested Tip:

Next time a process, action, or project in your team doesn’t go quite as planned, don’t be complacent.  You don’t have to be the team leader seeking to improve team development.  Step up as a team member and ask the following questions:

1. What went wrong?
2. Why did it go wrong?
3. Is it a problem or one time goof?
4. How can we prevent this from happening again?

Maybe there is nothing needs to be done after your analysis, but at least you’ve asked the questions to be sure.

Part One: Finding a Positive Work Environment

After reading a book called The No Asshole Rule, it was plain to see some parallel concepts being presented and the Decorator Crab. The No Asshole Rule suggests that if you work in an environment full of caustic, lazy, or negative peers, you will inevitable, and without intentions, adopt those traits yourself. I imagine there have been many a crab who have chosen to put items from the sea floor on their shell that they don’t particularly want to be a part of them or think will be a positive addition to their appearance.  Similarly, I’ve seen firsthand, both for myself and for others, bad habits developed and undesirable characteristics acquired.  These new traits are often permanent or hard to be rid of and will stay with an individual as they move from one workplace to another.  As a person adds various negatives from their workplace, it becomes even more difficult to be accepted and wanted in a new environment. This insight led me to the conclusion that we should all take a close look at our work environment to understand if it is adding to our “shell” in a positive way, and what we as individuals are contributing to the environment.

OMG, RU GOING CRAZY = Oh My Goodness, Are You Going Crazy!

U Need Help = You Need Help
I have a small counseling practice on the side where I focus on helping teenagers navigate through life.  During the past few years, I’ve personally seen a rapid decline in many teenager’s everyday social skills.  Some of my observations include difficulties addressing conflict, smaller vocabulary, poor non-verbals communication, inability to express emotions through verbal means (outside of the Text Message Shorthand of sideways smiley or frowny faces), and an overall discomfort with spoken conversations.  I know what you’re thinking at this point – welcome to working with teenagers!  However, I truly believe that this is largely due to a decrease in experience with face-to-face communication, and solely relying on texting, emailing, and instant messaging, where the human interaction is removed.

YUPPIES = Young Urban Professionals
So, how does this affect our up and coming workforce?  While the future is looking bright and full of talented and capable young individuals, it is likely these young individuals will struggle with the basic and essential skill of relating and connecting with team members, leaders, subordinates, clients and customers, and vendors.  Some organizations may even be seeing the affects of texting and emailing in employees who are in their early twenties.

Getting the 411 Is ^ 2 U = Getting the Information is Up to You
So, what is the solution?  One immediate action we can all take is to preserve the art of face-to-face communication in our own realm.  Despite the ease of typing a quick instant message to the person in the cubicle behind you, make an effort to send and receive a more accurate and personal message by doing so face-to-face.  Take the opportunity to call that vendor and clarify exactly what your department needs, versus hoping it is understood through a series of emails.  When you are going to be late to your next meeting, send a quick text letting the administrative assistant know you won’t be on time, but then take the opportunity to apologize in person and use non-verbals to communicate your sincerity.

Another step companies can take to ensure their workforce is full of effective communicators is to increase opportunities for training and development in the area of communication.  Training on communication skills is a great opportunity for employees to practice and learn basic and advanced levels of communication.  Your employees will be more aligned when they communicate from learning the same concepts and skills taught by qualified facilitators who are trained in adult learning theories.

Help develop communication skills B4 its 2 L8!

Although this news story seems hilarious and far-fetched, I can relate it to happenings in the workplace.  Co-workers often find themselves in the middle of legitimate conflicts and problems.  Rather than solving these conflicts and problems themselves, co-workers commonly run to their managers in hopes that they will make everything all better.  This occurs for a variety of reasons.  Employees may lack the skills to problem solve, they may feel uncomfortable with conflict, or they may lack the confidence to confront issues head on.  Like the police, effective leaders don’t come to the rescue.  Rather, they arm their employees with the ability to overcome such challenges.  Like the police, effective managers have bigger and more important situations to deal with and can’t waste time on situations that can be handled without them.  If you are a manager and feel like your employees are constantly dialing 911, you may need to to provide some training or skill development around problem solving, decision making, and conflict management.