Many people associate conflict with negativity, but conflict doesn’t have to be unpleasant; it can even be enjoyable. Conflict when used in a constructive way, can bring forth great outcomes and ideas, often benefiting those who are involved by exposing them to alternative perspectives.
Yesterday, while watching the daily news, I saw a commercial that caught my attention. In order to win over new customers, this organization is using a strategy that I like very much. Their approach is creative, it’s innovative, and was sure their competitors would need to respond to this advertising campaign in some form or fashion to maintain market share.
However, after seeing this advertisement a second time, I came to the realization that this “new” approach is classic conflict avoidance. Take a look at this video clip. Can you see where I’m coming from?
Now, please correct me if I’m totally off base, (I’ll be confident and say I’m not), but don’t the fundamentals of business acumen tell us that competition is good? In a situation like this we should want to create a little constructive conflict, forcing these two companies to battle over our business. If we ask Allstate to “break up” with our existing insurance provider for us because we’re too uncomfortable to handle the situation ourselves, we’ll never know whether the current insurance provider would be able to match the offer, or offer a better deal, ultimately saving use the hassle of switching insurance providers. Come on people. Buck up! Step out of your comfort zone and grow a little! Given this type of situation, the customer has all the power. If you add a little conflict to the mix, these two companies will need to compete for your business, “sweetening the deal,” and offering you greater gains. One company claims that it can “save you serious cash,” but the other company wants to retain business and compete for your business. Keeping a customer is much easier than winning a new one. Two companies knowingly vying for our business puts us in a great position, but if your existing insurance company gets a call from Allstate, “saving you that uncomfortable break-up moment,” your opportunity for beneficial conflict has been lost, and so has your power as a consumer.
Confront conflict head on; avoidance never hurt anybody but you.
I’ve been fortunate enough to be exposed to some of the world’s foremost authorities on coaching others for business success. I’ve been able to see firsthand the results effective coaching has in organizations from all over the world. Despite this, when I think back to my first management position at a world-renown advertising agency, I realize that I wasn’t as effective coach and leader as I should have been. At the time, I was young, inexperienced, and most importantly, without any advice from senior leadership on how to be a great leader. My promotion to a manager was based on being technically skilled at the job. I had many shortcomings leading and coaching others for success and I know now my leadership deficiency likely caused some problems with my co-workers and team. If I could go back in time, I would do some things differently.
Just a few weeks ago, I recognized one of those major deficiencies while standing in the checkout line at a home improvement store. The store wasn’t too busy, but I was eager to give my money away and get home to my project list. I watched the three people in line ahead of me with great anticipation. The woman at the front of the line was purchasing various plants and other outdoor home improvement goods. The first problem occurred when the bar codes on the plants didn’t scan correctly. Then, the cash register system started malfunctioning. The checker, who must have been a relatively new employee, quickly became frazzled. Because he didn’t know how to solve the problem on his own, he called for his manager. The manager, looking saintly and important, strolled over to the register and gently nudged the checker out of the way. He pushed a few keys on the register to fix the issue and everything was as good as new. The manager then quietly exited without saying a word. The checker gave a polite thank you and the manager, without turning around, gave a wave of acknowledgment. The checker finished with the first customer and moved to the next man in line. He experienced the same problem with this customer. Sure enough, the register started malfunctioning, and the checker had to call his manager to solve the problem. This time when the manager strolled back, he pushed a few buttons, turned the key on and off, and said “that should solve it.” I watched the manager closely as he went on his merry way. He seemed satisfied with the speed of his performance.
A couple of hours later, I was back at the home improvement store to purchase a few items that I forgot earlier in the day. I happened to return to the same checkout line and checker and so I asked the checker if his boss had shown him how to troubleshoot the register. He laughed and said “I was told to call my manager over if I have a problem, and it is his job to solve problems how he best sees fit.”
The gap of coaching in this organization became clear. When the manager failed to share his basic knowledge of the register and help the checker troubleshoot problems when they arose, he created dependency. The checker was not empowered to learn, nor did he want to solve any problem on his own. It was painful to realize that I used to be that kind of manager. It was clear that it created trouble for me and my entire team. Whenever something went wrong, I would swoop in to save the day. I used my knowledge and problem solving skills to become an expert and increase my reputation as a “go-to” person. However, I missed many coaching opportunities to share my knowledge with my team. After a while, I was just solving problem; not leading the team and coaching its members to excellence.
I have noticed that the best coaches in the workplace do more than just help or fix problems. They constantly provide guidance, look for opportunities to collaborate, and offer timely advice and assistance for developing others. When a coach looks to enhance growth and performance, promotes individual responsibility, and encourages accountability, you see true magic take place. The great thing about coaching is anyone can learn to do it.
One tip I would recommend to managers and leaders is to get to know your people. Take an interest and have a personal stake in their development. Find ways to encourage learning and communicate your desires to your people on a regular basis. For additional tips check our blog on a regular basis or give us a call to speak with us in person.
In Part 1 and Part 2 of “Which Comes First, Coaching or the Need for Coaching?” it was discussed that most coaches wait for the need for coaching, rather than proactively coaching, which in turn reduces the actual need for coaching. From these two posts, new questions may have surfaced. Some of you may be asking, “If there aren’t any problems or issues, then what would I coach about or coach to?”
CMOE has identified four type of coaching opportunities, listed below in no particular order.
1. Improvement
2. Development
3. Reinforcement
4. Alignment
As you may have guessed, CMOE categorizes “the need for coaching,” under Improvement (1). Coaching of this type targets elevating performance and overcoming setbacks, shortcomings, issues, concerns, and problems. However, CMOE has identified three other types of coaching opportunities that will serve as a preemptive strike to such issues. Coaching for Development (2) is focused on enhancing potential, teaching skills, and clarifying expectations – your’s, the coachee’s, and the organization’s. Coaching for Reinforcement (3) involves helping the coachee sustain and expand strengths, successes, and achievements. Coaching for Alignment (4) deals with helping the coachee change and build commitment to new strategies, goals, and processes. After you have finished reading about CMOE’s four types of coaching opportunities, you may yourself realize that problems and issues aren’t the only reason leaders need to coach.
Despite the various opportunities, managers typically only coach for Improvement, or “the need for coaching.” I challenge all readers to make an effort to get out of this coaching rut and start coaching to the other three types of opportunities listed above. Managers will likely find that “the need for coaching” will actually diminish because the causes to such problems will be addressed early on, before a problem fully develops. Please keep your thoughts and comments coming and I welcome any follow-up questions.
“What comes first, coaching or the need to coach?” This is a very interesting question and one that has been asked before in CMOE’s Coaching Skills Workshops. If this question is one you’ve found yourself asking as well, I hope to be able to answer it for you in this second part of the blog. If you have not yet read Part 1 of this discussion, please click here.
According to CMOE’s definition, coaching is not done strictly on a need basis. While coaching is effective for addressing problems and challenges, CMOE feels coaching is more effective and should primarily be used for preventing such problems and challenges. So, rather than view coaching as merely a corrective action, consider it more as a pre-emptive strike. If leaders spend time influencing, developing, and assisting their employees on a regular basis, problems and challenges are less likely to arise. Additionally, if leaders are conducting coaching sessions on a regular basis, a constructive relationship will be established, efficient communication processes developed, and employees will know what to expect from such discussions. Thus, if a problem does arise, the coaching conversation is likely to be easier for the leader to conduct, easier for the employee to participate in, and a more straightforward and positive experience for all.
So which comes first? In most situations, the need for coaching will present itself and require coaching before a leader takes action. In the ideal situation, coaching comes first and is repeated on a regular basis. If you find yourself in a situation where the need for coaching comes first, I would like to challenge you to ask yourself why you waited for the need to arise and what is holding you back from taking a pre-emptive strike by coaching to influence, develop, and assist your direct reports. If you don’t have the answers or tools to change your behavior for the better, I would encourage you to read up on the subject. To ensure you are spending your reading time on something that will yield results, I recommend CMOE’s book, The Coach; the first research based book on the topic of coaching in the business environment. In the meantime, please post comments and keep your eyes peeled for Part 3 of this blog, which will review four types of coaching opportunities and further address the question, “Which Comes First, Coaching or the Need for Coaching?”
The unanswered question of all time is, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” While an answer to this question has yet to be determined, I will attempt to answer a similar question posed to me recently by a new manager.
CMOE is currently replicating its research on Coaching Skills, which was originally conducted in 1985. Last month, I was conducting the one-on-one interviews for this research project. During one particular interview with a very new manager, I noticed him ruminating when I asked him about his coaching style, experience, and effectiveness. I asked him to describe a specific example of one of his coaching conversations. He contemplated the question for a while before saying “When I meet with my employees on an individual basis, it is because there is a problem. These conversations tend to be more of a negative experience for both me and the employee I’m coaching. This is mostly because I’ve never clearly understood when to meet with my employees. Should I meet with them when a problem arises? Or do I spend my time conducting proactive meetings to hopefully prevent problems?”
Essentially what this person was asking is, “What comes first, coaching or the need to coach?” This is a very interesting question and one that has been asked before in CMOE’s Coaching Skills Workshop. If this question is one you’ve found yourself asking as well, please take some time to think it over or post your own thoughts and comments for others to view. Also, stay on the lookout for Part 2 of this blog that addresses this question in-depth.
We can all understand that it is important to help employees to improve their performance and increase in their skills, but sometimes it just takes too much time. There are too many employees and too much work to get done to be able to have a solid coaching session. Wrong! Take a look at the following video which demonstrates how an employee’s performance can be evaluated and his strengths encouraged in a natural setting. This method is so obvious and natural. Watch this demonstration of a One Minute Employee Coaching Session.
Raw unfiltered feedback really sheds light on people or organization issues and often comes out in full force during organizational assessments. A few years ago, CMOE was working with an organization to improve the performance and effectiveness of its managers. We provided an assessment tool to specifically help draw out insight and feedback as to how effective the managers were in their roles, skills, and competencies. Overall, the managers scored well. However, one department wasn’t doing as well as the rest. As we sifted through the data, I came across some general comments provided by an individual in this department. Let me share with you this rare glimpse of someone truly opening up and sharing.
Unfiltered Feedback – These comments has been modified to ensure anonymity
“I think Mark has good intentions, but lacks some people skills in general. He’s a good programmer and sales rep, but seems to be rather abrasive as a manager. The all-star athlete doesn’t always make a good coach. Mark tends to think it is his way or the highway. Team meetings are viewed as ‘time to get beat up’ sessions…”
“The sales team feels constant pressure to perform at a level beyond common sense. We all know there is pressure from the top down to “make the numbers,” but lose sight of the fact that our customers drive the business. Our promises to Wall Street should not influence how we treat our customers……We think short-term and are managed accordingly. Our success is based on long-term professional relationships with customers we care about and treat right. As long as we deliver what we promise and provide solutions that customers are happy with, we will do well…”
“I am VERY uncomfortable with having to share this information at this time. I fully expect to get in trouble for being open and honest and sharing this information.”
Our Summary of These Comments: The translation of the above comment is that this person loves the job, but feels changes are drastically needed for the department. It is clear that this person has also reached a tipping point where frustration will lead to radical change for them as an individual; the person may leave, start to resist, or even break down emotionally.
All-star performers often accomplish more and in return often expect more from those they manage. I don’t see anything wrong with expecting more, so long as these all-star athletes are equipped and continually develop interpersonal communication skills. The big question is have these people been identified in your organization?
Many people feel that coaching and mentoring are the same thing. Whenever you ask a group what makes a good coach, someone inevitably says “mentor” or “mentoring.” Likewise, if you were to ask a group what makes a good mentor, you would probably hear someone say that a mentor helps to coach people.
No doubt, coaching and mentoring have many similar characteristics. Both coaches and mentors are typically established to assist other people in personal development in life, business, school, career decisions, athletics, and many other areas. At CMOE, we have found that good mentors and good coaches will demonstrate many of the same types of skills and behaviors when working with other people. One thing we find to be more common than ever before is that employees are looking to their immediate managers to take the role of coach and mentor. Not only are the employees seeking this help, but many managerial job descriptions are requiring leaders to coach and mentor as well.
If you really want to understand the difference between coaching and mentoring, author Nigel MacLennan in his book Coaching and Mentoring helps distinguish the difference between a coach and a mentor quite well.
“The two roles are worlds apart and overlapping, depending on which dimension they are compared. In terms of volition, a mentor can be unwitting or even unwilling, but still a successful mentor. How? By a performer choosing a role model at a distance. A coach could never be unwitting, and is unlikely to engage in the process if unwilling. The roles overlap when a person performs successfully as a coach. He or she is likely to be adopted as a mentor of coaching skills. The reverse is not true. A mentor can never be a coach unless they deliberately adopt the skills involved in successful coaching. The coach concentrates on helping the performer learn how to achieve more. The mentor’s aim is to be available for the performer to use as a resource. A mentor can fulfill the role quite adequately with basic management, people and training or teaching skills. An effective coach must have the knowledge, technique and skill to help the performer achieve, without directing.”
MacLennan makes a strong point in that people with good coaching skills help people to learn and develop on their own, while mentors many times just direct. Another important thought the author expresses is that a coach can become a mentor more easily than a mentor can become a coach.
A mentor can be disengaged and distant, but today’s coaches are in the front lines with their troops every day. The art of coaching demands ownership and partnership, in order to build a strong foundation for communication and support within the relationship. The Journal of Applied Psychology said that, “Managers spend 57 to 89 percent of their time in face to face communication.” Even in today’s constantly changing world of technology, managers are still spending a large portion of time in communication with their team members.
Therefore, it is increasingly important for managers, directors, supervisors, and senior executives to be good coaches. They need proper coaching skills training in order to make a bigger impact within their teams and organization. When a good coach engages his team members in continuous and positive interactions, the developed synergy will produce tremendous results. Strong coaches, properly trained in coaching skills, know how to maximize interactions for positive relationships and bottom-line outcomes.
When it comes to coaching, most of our efforts are spent with those that report directly to us. This begs the question; what needs to be done when you need to coach your boss on a particular issue? Can you achieve the results you desire and can it really be done effectively? Interestingly enough, sometimes the person who needs coaching the most is your boss, and there are ways you can coach your boss without feeling too much pressure.
We have to admit that in the business world today there are still a few managers who are less receptive to coaching and it may seem like the smart thing to throw in the towel and focus your efforts in other places. These few managers have narrow vision and see just one way to accomplish anything; their way. However, there are many bosses and leaders out there that are very receptive to coaching, feedback, and are willing to listen to other ideas that improve workplace performance. Great leaders recognize that someone else may know something they don’t, or something they could benefit from, and are more willing and open to suggestions from people who are willing to take a risk to coach their boss.
Coaching a boss or leader might not be so different from when you coach a direct report, but how can you effectively and transparently send your message up the chain of command? Carefully, and in a professional and tactful way is a simple answer. Also, it may take a little more effort to get the point across. The key here is to be sure you deliver the message in a way that your manager will be open to. When done successfully, it can really open up future dialogue and improve coaching conversations between you and your manager.
Here are a few tips in delivering the message: Plan your conversation. Decide what your topic is and walk through the key points of the conversation. You may actually want to practice it in your mind and when available find someone to rehearse the conversation with you before you go in to the meeting. If your manager agrees with you on many of your ideas, you can present the framework of how you see the future unfolding if no change takes place. Here is a great place to let your manager reflect on the future and how they see it unfolding under current circumstances. You may not have a grasp of the whole picture, so your leader’s ideas and thoughts might be very informative. The great thing about this is that your ideas might be very informative to your boss as well, making it a win-win conversation
After you have discussed what the future might look like (without any changes), let the impact of that statement sit with your boss for a while. Then, propose a plan or a solution to the problem you have brought to your leader’s attention. You may want to have more than one idea to propose and you should solicit ideas from your leader for the solution. By getting input from your boss you actually transfer ownership of the solution from just you to the two of you, creating collaboration, partnering, and synergy in creating solutions to business problems.
After some details to the plan have surfaced it may be time to identify obstacles that would hinder the success of any proposed solutions. This is a great opportunity again to gain some insight and perspective from your manager on what might trip up the plan in the future. Remember, your boss may have a more intimate knowledge of future business goals, plans, and objectives. Listen for those carefully as you may need to re-visit your plans based on your leader’s feedback.
When a solution is agreed upon, this is a perfect opportunity to clearly define what you are willing to do to implement the solution. By showing your commitment to the solution and asking for your leader’s commitment you are cementing the plan and creating the proper action steps for the future. The key here is to show that you are going to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. In addition, it might be helpful to state or recap your point of view and highlight some best probable scenarios for the future if the new plan is implemented? Employees that are willing to bring opportunities to the manager’s attention, collaborate on solutions, and provide a vision of the future are going to be seen as top performers.
When you are coaching up, you are taking a proactive approach to point out opportunities to improve the organization. Coach up when it’s appropriate.
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Just a few weeks ago, I recognized one of those major deficiencies while standing in the checkout line at a home improvement store. The store wasn’t too busy, but I was eager to give my money away and get home to my project list. I watched the three people in line ahead of me with great anticipation. The woman at the front of the line was purchasing various plants and other outdoor home improvement goods. The first problem occurred when the bar codes on the plants didn’t scan correctly. Then, the cash register system started malfunctioning. The checker, who must have been a relatively new employee, quickly became frazzled. Because he didn’t know how to solve the problem on his own, he called for his manager. The manager, looking saintly and important, strolled over to the register and gently nudged the checker out of the way. He pushed a few keys on the register to fix the issue and everything was as good as new. The manager then quietly exited without saying a word. The checker gave a polite thank you and the manager, without turning around, gave a wave of acknowledgment. The checker finished with the first customer and moved to the next man in line. He experienced the same problem with this customer. Sure enough, the register started malfunctioning, and the checker had to call his manager to solve the problem. This time when the manager strolled back, he pushed a few buttons, turned the key on and off, and said “that should solve it.” I watched the manager closely as he went on his merry way. He seemed satisfied with the speed of his performance.
In 
No doubt, coaching and mentoring have many similar characteristics. Both coaches and mentors are typically established to assist other people in personal development in life, business, school, career decisions, athletics, and many other areas. At CMOE, we have found that good mentors and good coaches will demonstrate many of the same types of skills and behaviors when working with other people. One thing we find to be more common than ever before is that employees are looking to their immediate managers to take the role of coach and mentor. Not only are the employees seeking this help, but many managerial job descriptions are requiring leaders to coach and mentor as well.
Here are a few tips in delivering the message: Plan your conversation. Decide what your topic is and walk through the key points of the conversation. You may actually want to practice it in your mind and when available find someone to rehearse the conversation with you before you go in to the meeting. If your manager agrees with you on many of your ideas, you can present the framework of how you see the future unfolding if no change takes place. Here is a great place to let your manager reflect on the future and how they see it unfolding under current circumstances. You may not have a grasp of the whole picture, so your leader’s ideas and thoughts might be very informative. The great thing about this is that your ideas might be very informative to your boss as well, making it a win-win conversation
